Yasmin in Istanbul, Turkey

bzzz bzzzz

The love that I feel for Ryan transcends any range of emotion I thought I could ever feel. It’s overwhelming and also the best thing in the universe. 

When I think of my love so many things come to mind. His freckles. His orangey hair. His soft skin and beautiful green eyes. He reminds me of sunshine, fresh air, and a soft warm shade of orange. He reminds me the colors of autumn, being barefoot on the lawn, our dog, Artemus. I am reminded of the soulful sound of the guitar, how he closes his eyes when he’s smilin’ all proud. He makes me think of all the things that make me feel safe, warm, comfortable, beautiful, natural, innocent, and simple. I love how simple our love is. I am so excited to be with this amazing person for the rest of my life. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that he’s not the one. I don’t feel whole without him. We share our lives together. It’s the best. 

Being with someone like him makes me feel like there is so much more to life than just living and dying. I don’t want our relationship to end when we are old and die. 

Do others think about this? Am I an uber romantic? I know Ryan feels the same way. 

Who wants to just have it all end when they are old. When you have something so wonderful and amazing in your life it makes you believe that the feelings you have will last forever. My feelings will be here even after I am gone. There will be something good left behind. I just know it. 

He makes me feel whole. 

I didn’t do anything today. But the day went by pretty quickly anyways. I am just counting down the days. 7 more! Just a week love. I want to be home and with you now. 

I watched the movie Penelope ( yes Ryan, that’s why i said i like that name ;) .. ) and the movie License to Wed. I also went swimming for a bit. My parents came by with a shirt and my swim suit and another skirt and shoes. I’m supposed to be going to the new house tomorrow but it’s been put off for the past 3 days so who knows at this point. 

The rest of the day I talked to my hunny. I miss him so much it hurts. I was feeling down and he asked me if singing me a song would cheer me up. I love it when he sings to me… so i said yes. I was expecting an old song.. but he started singing something new i didn’t recognize. I thought he would cut it halfway in.. but it was a finished song! It was one he recently wrote for me! It was amazing. I was so impressed! 

My love is so incredibly talented. He said he missed me so much and wrote me that song. He gave me the wav file so i could listen to it on my computer too. I love listening to his songs. I love my hunnys voice. Ryan and I were on webcam at the time and i wanted to play the song to make sure it worked … and a few seconds into it i started crying. I just choked. His voice was so clear… When i hear him on the webcam it sounds muffled or staticy or something. Hearing his voice so clear in a romantic song he wrote for me… I can’t believe how much I miss him. I’ve been apart from people before. I usually go to Turkey every other year for much longer than this… I can’t be away from Ryan. Every day is a struggle. I wake up to look on facebook to see what he wrote me, go to Tumblr to see what he wrote me. Check my e-mails. Then lay back down and wait for 5 pm to roll around so he can wake up and I can hear from him again.  

Don’t get me wrong. Turkey is great. It’s beautiful here. I have family. I had an internship. It’s different here and the food is good. I am free (for the most part) to travel around and explore…. but i’d much rather be home. I miss the comfort of my apartment. I miss Ryans and my paintings on the wall, charlie being lazy, our collection of dvds, the good we make, our super messy room, but we plop down on our bed and hug each other and everything is perfect. I miss my energetic dog Artemus, the big willow tree outside our balcony, our worn out brown comfy couch, and our yellow ol’ chairs. The unfinished drawing on the wall, all the projects we need to do, our book shelf mixed with stories from when we were kids and books we still need to read. I love that everything is ours. We share everything. I have no intention of ever saying something is all mine. Everything is ours. We share our lives, our love, our stuff, our adventures. We are the best. 

How the hell did i get so lucky? 

He’s my honey bee <3